prose
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Procrastinate
Fall. September 22nd. Stay in summer. Cool off. What’s wrong? I’m not doing it, I’m scared. The floor moves, always running and tripping. Using my words. If I can focus long enough on beauty instead of madness—forget the real world! “Lizard” “Lizard” I’m no better. What do you mean? Alone? Fix it up, make it better, something that matters. Maybe in December…… Continue reading
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On Being Human
Joy stained with sadness. Spreading. Searching in the mirror: Hello and goodbye, hello–echo–hello! Goodbye, goodbye. Internal guard. Distracting. Defensive. Avoiding what happened before… Faltering. A puddle. A wrinkle of sadness in everything, for in your noticing is its ending–begin and end, begin and end–what happens in between the beginning and ending? Peace into pieces. Or… Continue reading
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Lying in a Bed of Ants
I brought a large blanket and laid it out. I sat down and began thinking—about nothing in particular, nothing of interest. It was more of a noticing: green clouds of pond growth blooming to the surface, a swan bobbing for fish, trees, light green and white, shimmering in the wind, a blue sky. There was… Continue reading
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Already Full
The cup spills over from beneath the spigot. Moments spent receiving, while I keep track. Waiting for something to happen. Buying time. Pretending to pretend,I know what I’m doing. The cup remains, overflowing. Receiving, figuring—just give me a moment. Something comes next…But, wouldn’t I rather not? Shaking, I remove the glass from the endless outpouring andput it to my… Continue reading
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Served Cold
Fear. You son of a bitch. It’s hard to let walls down. It’s hard to be vulnerable. I’ve done bad things because of it. I’m not always rational. Like when I pulled a knife on my ex at the dinner table. Honestly, all I’m trying to say is, I’m not perfect. I’m scared. But that… Continue reading
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